what to call this one?

I've decided to delete a few of my nastier blogs, because they have been offending and upsetting some people. I regret that, and hope I'm not perceived as a bigot.

I often blog about the negative aspects of Malaysia, due to my limited amount of patience and tolerance. Or it could be my extraordinary high standards that I set for myself and others, and when people don't (intentionally or not) live up to them, I get angry. This is my major weakness; that and my very delicate ego.

One thing I hate more than what gets me angry, is having people angry at me. This is a total oxymoron I know, and a seemingly easy thing to fix, but I struggle with my ability to 'let things go' on a hour by hour basis!

I get angry at bad driving, people who are inconsiderate, dirty and mannerless, people who litter and a whole host of other things that make everyone angry too. The trigger for me is when they get away with it. That's when I get pissed. When I see someone beat the red light or drive like a madman, and the cop RIGHT THERE doesn't do a thing! I've seen it more times than I can count, and I am more fed up with the police than the driver. Many times I've said that I'd love to be a cop here - I'd clean up the place so fast - but Dee reminds me that I'd be targetted for a hit before the end of the week. That in turn makes me think that no-one really cares! So long as they don't have to do anything...

I am the first to admit I have anger control issues. I hate my anger. I have read and thought about it for a long time. One release I have is the gym or exercise. That helps greatly. Also, focussing on something positive intensely also helps.

I am happy (to a point) to self-censor my comments about day-to-day life here, but I also need to let things out. I don't have a journal, and this blog is my outlet. I need to get the bad blood out into the air to really release things. If they offend someone, sorry. I'll delete the post after some time, when I've read it once I've cooled down and see how purile it is...

I also don't want to shy away from discussing difficult or sensitive topics - I firmly believe that's healthy. It leads to self-analysis and that's what I do often. I've had to eat humble pie so often lately, I've really taken a beating... But in the end, like I was and have been advised to do so often, I'll grow up.

Love and peace